If it smells like a psycho, it's probably a psycho.

Those my friends are words to live by.

Let's get a few things out of the way to start.  I love life.  I love experiences.  I love happiness.  I also love the negatives that life has to offer.  You may think I'm certifiably insane, but that's my perogative. 

So here we go:

- I have forgotten how many boys I have dated

- I definitely don't know how many men I have dated 

- I can remember all of my exes names and phone numbers

- I have online dated, more than once, and I will most likely never do it again

- I have met significant others organically

- I have met possible suitors organically

And let me tell you the age-old rule of if it smells like a psycho, it's a psycho and you should run.  And some of those gentlemen have be capital "P" "Psycho".

I recently met a said human being.  Very charming, very handsome, seemed to have some good things going.  I gave him my number.  Bad idea.  Such a bad idea.  Dude is cray.  And by cray, I mean he thinks it's okay to degrade women, use obscene language, and insinuate that he's the shit and it's my loss.

I'm sorry but can someone please explain to me when it became normal for someone to go apeshit crazy when you have met someone once, talked to her for maybe 4 hours?  This is ridonculous and needs to stop.  There's a reason you're single, dude.  There's a reason your ex screwed you over.  And it's definitely not me or her being the problem.  Guess who it is?  Yep, you're right, YOU!  You earned a gold star, in reality, you're probably closer to earning a restraining order and something tells me that you know what that's like.

Don't get me wrong I believe that people deserve a chance until they've proven that they don't deserve a chance.  Looking back at my past debacles of relationships I realized once upon a time me would have probably delusionally given this crazy horse a chance.  Thank God I have grown the eff up.  Chalk it up to learning from experience.

To the future gentlemen that I might undoubtedly meet, although, I love the experience, I could do with a little less bizarre.  Please take heed to the following requests:

- don't be a psychopath

- don't be a sociopath 

- don't be a crazed addict- drug addicts, alcoholics, sex addicts, and the emotionally demented need not apply

-  fellows living with moms because it's just easier that way, please walk on by (I get if there's legitimate reasons, but if you're 30 living with ma and pa because you can, please leave)

- have a career, not just a job

- have goals and them not be just video-game related

- want a girlfriend, best friend and possibly one day a wife and a family (note there is no rush with this)

- be into health

- be supportive of the people in your life

- be understanding

That's the list of my new requirements.  If you don't have those or don't foresee attaining those qualities, do a majority of woman-kind and especially myself a favour and pound sand.  Quit reproducing.  I mean it, quit.  Capital Q.

Women- if you don't have these requirements, get a grip.  Or jump off a bridge. Please also stop reproducing.

I would really like to know how natural selection enables the physically superior of species, however within humans, the idiocy continues to reproduced with.

This was a bizarre post and I'd like to apologize.  On the other hand, I think I got the point across- if it smells like a psycho, it's most likely a psycho.  Run. Like. The. Wind.  And then call the cops.