I may be gullible, I may fall in love and trust too easy, but I gain something each time. Through every twist and turn, I have figured out what is acceptable for me and what is not.
I know that I want to share my life with someone. I want to wake up with someone in the morning (not just my dog). I want to come home and make dinner for two, go to the gym together or sit back, watch the game and rub his feet. Terrifying. I would have never guessed that I would think I was missing this.
Something that I realize again and again is that some men will tell you anything that you want to hear because they think that it will help their chances. The part that I don't get is that I respect a man who is honest, who calls it like he sees it, what he wants- the man who doesn't play games. For some reason I keep finding the men who want to whisper the sweet nothings and expect me to drop everything and come running when they ask. That's my problem. For the woman who is a realist, I have this bizarre notion that when it comes to possible love, that a man only has the best intentions and doesn't want to fuck with my head or heart. This amuses me to no end. One would assume that a girl with my outlook would call everyone's bluff and make a man earn my respect and trust.
Maybe it's time to turn a new stone. No more jumping. No more believing. No more wishing for what a man isn't telling me that he wants.
It's my turn to be pursued. My time for a man to prove to me that he wants to be with me.
This should be an amusing endeavour. I'll keep you posted. Guess I should get used to continuing to wake up alone (but with my dog), doing my solo workouts, making dinner for one with some leftovers for lunch. It's time to get fired up for my journey.
