Well, it's been one of those days. I had an excellent time with one of my best friends, she gave me a pep talk. We had a treat, enjoyed a fabulous day. Then I got to hang with the guy.
I had big hopes and aspirations for this evening and they fell by the way side. My best intentions generally always do. I concern myself with how the other party is going to be affected with what I do or say. Tonight was no different. I noticed that my friend was not his usual self, so we just hung out as usual. After him dropping me off and my having a mini cry, I put on my big girl pants. I use the term big girl pants loosely because I was still a gigantic dick and sent my feelings and thoughts via text. DICK!
Honestly, who do I think I am? I guess I put myself first. And I did try to reiterate the fact that I couldn't do it via phone or in person because I was concerned about his well-being. Part of it is selfish though. I didn't want him to see me possibly cry. And evidently, he probably would have.
This is just another fresh hell for me. It's my own fault though- I knew what the outcome probably would be. Guess I shall see. I told him to take some time. I know I have ripped the band aid off and I know that sometimes the best way to let a wound heal is with some air.
Funny thing is I don't regret a thing. I had the opportunity to get to know a really amazing man. And who knows what the future holds.
I can always hope. For a little while.
Well, while this blog is about my knee, and my injury, I apologize for bringing that into it. Just another thing for me to cope with alongside everything else. Never a bore in Jenn land.
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